The Shitty Economy Is Killing Music Too

So I’m sick and sitting on my couch watching “American Idol” and reading Rolling Stone. What else would I be doing, really?

Aside from my congested sinuses and my constantly popping eardrums what really makes me feel sick is the “Top 40 Albums” chart on the last page of Rolling Stone. Taylor Swift. Fearless. Number 1? What?

I probably seem to be fixated on Taylor Swift…the only reason I write about her a lot is because I simply cannot figure out her appeal to anyone above the age of 13, and if her fan base is all 13 year-olds, how is she the number 1 selling artist in America right now?

This is my theory: the only people who can afford to go out and buy albums are the suburban soccer moms, and those moms are out buying Swift’s sickeningly sweet CD for their lovestruck daughters who just want to emulate the singer who once bagged Joe Jonas. Music charts are based on CD sales, I want a chart based on what’s the most downloaded, pirated, and listened to. I want to know what America really likes…and for my sake I hope it’s not U2, though, it probably is. America is a sucker for some philanthropic Irish lads clad in sunglasses with a new found love of eyeliner.

If anything, I think that Lady Gaga’s debut CD, The Fame, has more musical and artistic merit than Swift’s and therefore is more deserving of number one. Everyone is downloading it though, and probably illegally. I know I did. It appeals to people my age, and none of us can afford to eat anything but Ramen, let alone go buy a $15.99 CD.

Hey Barack, give us money. We need a musical stimulus package so we can “fix” these charts in the back of Rolling Stone.

P.S. It’s Michael Jackson night on “American Idol”. Kill me.


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