I’m a dick. I’m addicted to you.

It occurred to me today, as I was driving to the Gazette, chain-guzzling Red Bulls, and listening to Bob Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street,” that I may have more addictions than Amy Winehouse. Granted, mine don’t involve “cocaine” and “being a hot mess,” but still, having a list of addictions is never a good thing.

I’ve been told that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so here, out in the open, for the blogosphere to see, is a (probably) incomplete list of 10 things I am addicted to, for better or for worse.

1. Caffeine: This shouldn’t come as a shock. I did say in the opening sentence of this post that I spent my 20-minute ride to work “Chain-guzzling Red Bulls,” after all. I need caffeine on and IV drip. It’s bad. If I don’t have some form of caffeine in the morning I get the most ridiculous headache. I tried to give it up, but it was just easier to drink it and NOT get a headache that’s so intense it makes me cry. Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, Red Bull, Tim Hortons, vending machine coffee–if it’s not soda, and it has caffeine, I will drink it (I really do not like soda).

2. Cigarettes: I haven’t had one since I’ve been home. Seriously. I haven’t. I probably won’t have one all summer. But when I go back to school and start getting stressed out again…who knows? It’s not the nicotine I’m addicted to. It’s the calming effect it has on me. I know it’s bad. I know I shouldn’t. I’m going to try not to…but I just don’t know.

3. Mairghread Ryan: We might share part of a brain. We might complete each other. I miss her, but I FINALLY get to see her tonight! It’s been just over a month since I’ve seen her and I am going insane. It also doesn’t help that all I have time to do is work, but I just miss our antics and having fun…and being epic failures during amateur hour. She is the coolest chick of all time and I can’t wait to see her.

4. Bob Dylan: Truth. I can’t go a day without listening to Bob Dylan. The man is a poet. He’s the musical Jack Kerouac and my day just isn’t complete unless I get a solid 30 minutes of Bob Dylan coming out of my iHome speakers. It’s like I crave him. I can’t wait to see him in Woodstock in July. That concert is probably as close as I’ll ever get to making a Hajj to Mecca.

5. Writing: Whether it’s in this blog, or something for The Gazette or for The Spectrum, if I don’t write something EVERYDAY I go crazy. I think too much and if I don’t get those things out I start acting like Mike Tyson in the movie “Hangover,” except I would pick a cooler song to sing than “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. I’d probably sing “Hurricane” by Bob Dylan. Read the lyrics and you’ll know why.

6. Peace signs: If I’m not wearing one on my body SOMEWHERE, I am not going to have a good day. I have one tattooed on me, so I should say if I’m not wearing TWO somewhere on my body.

7. My ex-boyfriend: Even if we’re still friends (which we are) I still find myself craving his attention and wanting to see him on a regular basis. I don’t know why. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I guess he’s just someone I want in my life or rather, need in my life. I know it’s kind of pathetic and absolutely ridiculous but I can’t help it.

8. My mom: I talk to her everyday (pretty much). When I’m away at school I call her a lot and I’m sure she gets annoyed, but I can’t help it. I’m a mommy’s girl and in a lot of ways she is my best friend and if I don’t communicate with her daily I go crazy. She’s my rock. She always knows what to say. She is fantastic and honestly, I’m not mad that I’m addicted to her.

9. Rolling Stone and RollingStone.com: I read the magazine cover to cover. I check the website about a hundred times a day and I get their Tweets sent to my phone. I love their attention to music as well as pop-culture and movies. Though I am mad that they picked Adam Lambert for their cover, I still love everything about the magazine that Jann Wenner started over 40 years ago.

10. My day planner: I update it daily. If I don’t have it with me I feel lost. It’s in my purse at all times, no matter what I’m doing or where I am. It’s as close as I’ll get to having a bible.

Now, if only there was a 12-step program for some of these…


One comment

  1. mairghread ryan · April 26, 2010

    when i google my name, your blog comes up ❤

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