I’m sitting at my desk at The Gazette eating applesauce and trying to stay warm (AC is a miracle but only in moderation). I look kind of ridiculous with my fleece on over my dress and my hood up, carefully spooning apple sauce into my mouth because my stitches still hurt.
Despite this, I feel wonderful today. I’m finally back at work doing what I love. The sun is out. I had a great time a Bob Dylan (I still can’t get over how good of a show it was). I cleaned out my room last night, which always makes me feel better (I can’t wait to get back to Buffalo and do it all over again, is that weird?). I also sent some emails which cleaned out my life. I feel good. Unstoppable. Fantastic.
It really is amazing how sometimes the smallest things can make all the difference. Like getting a haircut or a new pair of jeans can create instant confidence. Clearing the clutter out of your closet can make you feel instantly relaxed and energized even if the rest of your life seems like a mess. A person holding an elevator door for you or simply smiling in your direction can turn your day around.
Me, for example, even if I’m exhausted and in a terrible mood, if the sun’s out, suddenly nothing bothers me anymore.
Like yesterday, I was tired from getting back from the concert so late/early in the morning and cranky that my mouth still hurt but then I looked outside, saw the sun and suddenly I didn’t have the urge to crawl back in bed anymore.
I’m at this point now where everything is going really well. I feel like I finally may have most things figured out. I know what’s expected of me next semester and I’m excited about it (I’ve already made daily schedules of classes and work as well as chores I have to do around my apartment when I get back…OCD much Caitlin?) I don’t have negative people in my life anymore. I’m just really excited about the rest of this summer and the future.
I don’t want to be one of those buzzkill people who brings down everyone they happen upon. Not at 20 years old…not ever.
I finally feel like a 20 year old is supposed to feel. I’m young. I have everything ahead of me and I want to take advantage of it. I want to work hard and play hard.
You’re only young once and I want to take advantage of it. (P.S. Like the photo for this post? It was inspired by Meg, and yes, that is me on my bathroom floor.)
I’m so looking forward to having a blast in my last two semesters of undergrad. I’ll turn 21 (SOON!), finish my thesis, and (hopefully) get into NYU and get a dumpy apartment in NYC which Meg and I will turn from drab to fab.
I don’t know what else to say other than I finally find myself being genuinely excited about…EVERYTHING.
Life is too short to worry needlessly and to surround yourself with people who don’t make you happy. People have been telling me this for years and I’m just now realizing it.
Better late than never, right?
In other news:
*Meg and Sarah are coming to visit this weekend
*My work place, The Daily Gazette, was named the best local newspaper by Metroland.
Life is good.