What can you do with a B.A. in English?

Today, as I was talking with family members about my “future” AT LEAST six of them asked me if I ever considered going to law school because law school is so “impressive and awesome.”

In short, yes I have considered it and no, I don’t want to do it…So stop asking me.
I don’t have anything against lawyers. They’ve gotten me out of countless speeding tickets and saved many of my family members from sticky situations. And yes, I know there’s more to lawyers than money mongering corporate doucheholes with sticks up their asses and God complexes. I know there are some lawyers out there who help the needy and stick up for our civil rights which allow every American to live their lives freely and fully…but I still do not want to be a lawyer. It’s a vocation in which I will never find an appeal.
Hey, if you want to be a lawyer…godspeed. Go forth, take the LSAT, have fun.
Personally, I just don’t get it. I would be so bored if I had to sit around all day looking up legal precedent and finding a way to convince a jury that my client is innocent. Day after day, court case after court case…unless I got something really high profile I would probably be looking for an out and a new job within the first week. I don’t have the attention span to be a lawyer. That’s why I like writing…I write it and move on. No attention span necessary. You can’t just “decide” to be done with a court case…they usually drag on forever. I guess I just don’t understand the appeal in a career in law other than helping people…I mean I’m all for helping my fellow man, I just would rather volunteer my time than sit around a court house in a pantsuit trying to please the disgruntled members of a jury who wish they were getting more than $60 a day to sit and listen to me drone on and on about my client.
I’m sure there are some people out there who were made to be lawyers…I’m just not one of them, and it bugs me when people mention it endlessly. Is my chosen profession not exciting enough for them? Should I not be proud to be on the brink of entering a field that I enjoy? It’s like they don’t care what I do, but it has to have that “status”….that “my son’s a doctor, my daughter’s a lawyer” bragging rights.
The same thing goes whenever anyone asks me if I want to teach with my English degree. No, I don’t. I appreciate teachers, they have been some of the most influential people in my life, but I don’t want to be one. I find no appeal in dealing with kids all day, though it is a noble profession.
You can do more with an English major than take the LSAT or go teach, you know…but apparently those other options aren’t “viable” professions.
So I might not make a whole lot of money, but at least I’ll like what I do. I know too many people who have taken the LSAT or become teachers just because it was the easiest way to find a job.
I’m sorry but after thousands of dollars in student loans for one measly piece of paper I am going to LIKE what I do with it and I would not like being a lawyer or a teacher…but that’s just me.
Dear Undisclosed Family Members,
While I appreciate your concern with my post-graduation financial solvency I do not want to be a lawyer or a teacher. Not because I don’t respect them as professions but because after 21 years of living with myself I know that I would be miserable in either field. I refuse to spend my life being unhappy with my job even if that means it will take me longer to pay back my loans because I won’t be making as much bank as a lawyer. That’s okay, I can live with that. As long as I’m happy I’ll be okay and the fact that I’m happy should make you happy, too, right? RIGHT!? I mean, that is what family is for. ANYWAY, thanks for the unsolicited life advice, but the answer will always be “no” so you can stop asking me to teach or go to law school.

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