A text message conversation from Aug. 29, 2010, approximately 9 p.m. (paraphrased):
Me: “I really don’t want booty call text messages from you anymore. I like you and I want to take a step back and see where this goes.”
Bro: “I fucked another girl. I’m sorry to say it so callously but you don’t need to worry about that anymore.”
Me: “Well, sorry I deigned to care about you and I didn’t just want to fuck you and leave.”
Bro: “Hey, I wasn’t making a personal attack. I think I’m done talking about this now.”
Me: *getting angry/hurt* “For all this talk about being a ‘nice guy’ you sure act like a dick.”
An hour and a half of textual silence ensues…
Bro: “Are you O.K.?”
YES I’M O.K.! YES, YOU HURT MY FEELINGS BUT IT’S NOT LIKE I’M GOING TO GO CRY ABOUT YOU OVER A PINT OF BEN AND JERRY’S AND HATE MY LIFE. NOPE. I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR ACADEMIC BUTT IN J-SCHOOL AND REVEL IN THE FACT THAT I, UNLIKE YOU, AM NOT AN EMOTIONLESS DRONE/ROBOT WHO SEEMS TO THINK HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO’S EVER GONE THROUGH A BREAKUP AND THEN PROCEEDS TO TAKE IT OUT ON EVERYONE ELSE. (But of course, I only said all of this in my head.)
I’m sitting in the Stabile Student Center at the Columbia J-School, slowly dying from the most random cold I’ve ever gotten and feeling extremely mad.
*Cue the whining high schoolers*
Boys are stupid…not to generalize or anything.
After living in the city for three weeks I find myself in a similar, precarious position that Carrie Bradshaw so often found herself–Why are (most) women destined to be emotionally attached and why are (most) guys always of the “hit it and quit it” mentality?
I’d like to think it’s because women have surpassed men in emotional evolution, that women are more mature than men, but I’m sure it’s far more complicated than that.
It just blows my mind that I can open myself up to a new person, tell them a lot of details about myself and admit to them that I’m romantically interested and have them say the same thing…and then two days later yank the metaphorical rug out from underneath me.
Apparently honesty is not so much of a virtue anymore.
You would think that by now I would have learned my lessons. Guys these days don’t date and girls must learn to adapt. We need to be able to play the field just as much as they do, if not even more so.
It reminds me of one of the early episodes of “Sex and the City” where Carrie decides that she is going to “have sex like a man,” meaning that she’s going to bang a guy merely for her own pleasure and then just leave.
I need to learn how to stand up for myself and get what I want. I don’t need to be what anyone else wants, I need to go after what I want.
So from now on, I am. I am going to live life (and maybe even have sex) like a man.
I’m in graduate school. Tomorrow I turn 22. This is the point in my life where I become assertive and go after what I want.
Ready. Set. Go!